Fifteen years of fandom
May. 21st, 2012 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eve11I was going through my old college notebooks tonight, compiling some of the margin conversations that Colleen and I used to have in boring math classes. Except most of the time I would write on my notebook and she would write on hers, so mostly I only have my side of the conversation, minus a few. Classes that generated the most conversations seemed to be Math 230H (Vector Calc, Wells) and Math 312 (Foundations of Calculus, Ware).
At any rate, I came across what may be one of the earliest "fanfics" I wrote, likely in the summer of 1997 when I was 19 years old. Hand-written on unlined paper (1 sheet, front and half of the back), it goes like this:
-----
Hey folks! Create your own Mulder/Scully dialog in 12 easy steps! Just follow this patented formula:
Scene: Mulder's office. Scully walks in.
S: So what's this all about, Mulder? I haven't seen you this excited since [insert porn reference here].
M: Have you ever heard of [town/person/fancy scientific term]?
S: Can't say that I have. What is it, [witty remark]?
(Sound of slide projector)
M: Very funny. [number] [hours/days/week/months/years] ago, [story that has nothing to do with anything said before].
S: Okay, so what does this have to do with the X-files?
M: [number] years ago, we have a record of [story remotely connected to the one before].
S: So [rational explanation], so what?
M: Don't you see, Scully, they were both [obscure link]! [person/town/fancy scientific term] just happens to [sarcastic coincidence]? I don't think so!
S: (crossing her arms) Are you trying to tell me that [outrageous theory]?
M: I have us booked on the next [bus/train/flight] to [city]. It leaves at [time]. [insert icebreaker sexual tension joke here]. Don't be late.
They leave.
Here is an example of how easy it is!
S: So what's this all about, Mulder? I haven't seen you this excited since the new Pamela Anderson Lee calendar came out.
M: Have you ever heard of D(*), Pennsylvania?
S: Can't say that I have. What is it, another town under attack by giant flukeworm cockroaches?
(Sound of slide projector)
M: Very funny. Fourteen hours ago, a 19 year old girl named Rhiannon (**) returned a library book that was 50 years overdue. Quite a fine, and the book was on the occult!
S: So what does this have to do with the X-files?
M: Fifty years ago, we have a record of a Branwen Morgan checking out the same book!
S: So it was her grandmother, so what?
M: Don't you see, Scully, they were both named after Welsh witches! Miss (**) just happens to have a grandmother with a Welsh name? I don't think so!
S: (crossing her arms) Are you trying to tell me that we have a coven of witches in rural Pennsylvania who have found the secret of everlasting life?
M: I have us booked on the next train to Philadelphia. It leaves at 2. So put on something red and sexy and don't be late.
There you have it folks! Also works for cell phone conversations (minus the slide projector and with inserting "Mulder, it's me" as the first line.)
-----
(*)--My home town
(**)--My real last name
At any rate, I came across what may be one of the earliest "fanfics" I wrote, likely in the summer of 1997 when I was 19 years old. Hand-written on unlined paper (1 sheet, front and half of the back), it goes like this:
-----
Hey folks! Create your own Mulder/Scully dialog in 12 easy steps! Just follow this patented formula:
Scene: Mulder's office. Scully walks in.
S: So what's this all about, Mulder? I haven't seen you this excited since [insert porn reference here].
M: Have you ever heard of [town/person/fancy scientific term]?
S: Can't say that I have. What is it, [witty remark]?
(Sound of slide projector)
M: Very funny. [number] [hours/days/week/months/years] ago, [story that has nothing to do with anything said before].
S: Okay, so what does this have to do with the X-files?
M: [number] years ago, we have a record of [story remotely connected to the one before].
S: So [rational explanation], so what?
M: Don't you see, Scully, they were both [obscure link]! [person/town/fancy scientific term] just happens to [sarcastic coincidence]? I don't think so!
S: (crossing her arms) Are you trying to tell me that [outrageous theory]?
M: I have us booked on the next [bus/train/flight] to [city]. It leaves at [time]. [insert icebreaker sexual tension joke here]. Don't be late.
They leave.
Here is an example of how easy it is!
S: So what's this all about, Mulder? I haven't seen you this excited since the new Pamela Anderson Lee calendar came out.
M: Have you ever heard of D(*), Pennsylvania?
S: Can't say that I have. What is it, another town under attack by giant flukeworm cockroaches?
(Sound of slide projector)
M: Very funny. Fourteen hours ago, a 19 year old girl named Rhiannon (**) returned a library book that was 50 years overdue. Quite a fine, and the book was on the occult!
S: So what does this have to do with the X-files?
M: Fifty years ago, we have a record of a Branwen Morgan checking out the same book!
S: So it was her grandmother, so what?
M: Don't you see, Scully, they were both named after Welsh witches! Miss (**) just happens to have a grandmother with a Welsh name? I don't think so!
S: (crossing her arms) Are you trying to tell me that we have a coven of witches in rural Pennsylvania who have found the secret of everlasting life?
M: I have us booked on the next train to Philadelphia. It leaves at 2. So put on something red and sexy and don't be late.
There you have it folks! Also works for cell phone conversations (minus the slide projector and with inserting "Mulder, it's me" as the first line.)
-----
(*)--My home town
(**)--My real last name
