Ficlet one: Out of the Mouths (SPN, Gen)

[eve11]

For lomer, Supernatural, ~1000 words




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"That's a hell of a car you've got there." Daniels probed the back seat of the Impala with his flashlight, but all he got was a glare off of the interior seats, reflected again off the pitch dark windows on the isolated road. "You don't see many of these that can go anywhere at all, let alone sixty-five in a thirty-five mile zone."

"Yes, sir." The driver squinted up at him through the window, sporting the usual guilty frown of those who knew they'd been tagged but good. He was a big guy-- Daniels would put him at six-four. His brown hair looked disheveled, but there was no alcohol on his breath. The man gave a quick glance at the passenger seat, and then put on a charming, very polished smile, especially for 3am on a Wednesday. "I am sorry about that, officer. I was in a hurry to get the little one here home. I guess I didn't realize how fast I was going."

The guy was pretty young to be a dad, Daniels figured, but the child in the passenger seat said different. Eerie kid, seemed no more than five. Daniels thought he'd slept through the stop, but when he swept the light past he saw the boy was just sitting, very still, staring at him and frowning. He gripped a sack or something in his near hand-- on further inspection Daniels realized it was a dead-eyed burlap doll.

Damn creepy, that's what it was.

"Up late, isn't he," Daniels studied the license again, "Mr. Fogerty?"

"Yeah." Fogerty ran a hand through his hair. "We're coming back from the airport, we had a really long day and it's way past B-E-D-T-I-M-E."

Apparently, the little one could spell, because he took that moment to pound the doll into the seat back. "God, we don't--!"

"Dean!" the driver warned.

The kid thunked his head back against the seat and let out a child-timbred sigh. Fogerty glared at him, and then looked back up at Daniels through the window. "He's... he's real cranky. Please, can you give me a break here? I swear it won't happen again."

Daniels bristled, and made a point of tapping the ticket pad against the window before opening it. "Ask yourself, son," he said, copying down the registration information. "What kind of a role model are you setting for this boy? What would it say to you if I let things slide this once? You've got the most important thing in your life on that seat there, and you're driving like a bat out of hell, like your child's safety means nothing at all."

Fogerty backed off, holding his hands out passively. "No, you're absolutely right, officer," he said, but Daniels could tell he was antsy, because his eyes kept straying to the watch on his wrist. "Just... I'll take the ticket. We'll be on our way, slow and sure."

Daniels filled in the usual fields on the yellow slip, but only got halfway through before the ink in his pen gave out. "You know, I've got children myself," he said, patting down his pockets. "In my line of work you see some terrible things happen because of neglect and recklessness. You wouldn't want to know the half of it--"

"Just write the god damned ticket already."

It was no louder than a murmur, barely audible, catching Daniels off-guard as he'd looked down to search his utility belt. Daniels whipped his head up in time to see Fogerty's eyes riveted on the passenger seat, and to hear a swift "shut up!" spat out between clenched teeth at the child, who was scowling openly now.

Cocky son of a bitch. Some people just shouldn't be parents. Daniels smacked the pad down against the top of the door under the open window.

"Hey! You're lucky I'm just writing you a ticket!" he said. "You know a child that small shouldn't even be in the front seat?"

Fogerty kept his hands in view, giving a strained laugh. "He pitches a fit if I put him in the back. Hell, if his feet reached the pedals I'd have to let him drive."

"That is not funny!" cried the boy, slamming the doll into the seat with enough force to propel him forward.

Daniels blinked. There was something at the small of the kid's back, something with a familiar, if hugely-proportioned, bulge to it.

"What the hell is going on?" he said, pointing his light into the car. "Is that a--?"

He didn't finish the sentence, because the kid leaped across his father's lap and bit him, full force, in the finger.

"Jesus Christ!" Daniels dropped the light, beams caroming wildly in the small space. Someone grazed the horn, which blared out into the dead night as the car was instantly filled with a chaos of voices.

"God! OW!"

"Holy shit, Dean!"

"Sam, we don't have time for this!"

When everything settled again, a vise grip held Daniels' wrists. Fogerty had him pinned to the inside of the door, and his kid was aiming a pristine nine mil right at his face. Damned thing didn't even waver.

"Dean." Fogerty let out a hiss of breath through his teeth. "What did I say about guns?"

"I can't help it, I feel naked!"

"God--"

"Fourteen minutes and counting, Sammy."

In unison, they turned their attention to the window. Daniels tried to protest, but he couldn't string more than a few random sounds together. He was still in shock from being held at gunpoint by a toddler.

"Sorry pal," the kid said. "Got a date with a dead cat and a one-legged pauper's grave on the new moon. And I am not spending another six weeks with a johnson half the size of a green bean."

When Daniels woke up-- groggy and muddled, but alive-- gray dawn was misting through the trees. His squad car was still flashing, muted in the morning gloom, and the Impala was gone.

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(request was: Dean pisses off a witch and is cursed. To Sam's horror, Dean shrinks to a four year old. (Mentally four, or physically four, or both, whatever. *g*) Hijinks ensue!)

Comments

[lomer.livejournal.com]

Oh my god I love you so much. So. MUCH! Poor cop has no idea what's going on. And I adore the creepy dead eyed doll held by an equally unnerving mini!Dean. No wonder the poor cop was out of his element.

And Dean had a gun! I love that detail so very much. And of course Sam is just trying to tread water. This story is fan-freakin-tastic!

[eve11]

Aw, thanks! :) Yeah, poor Daniels. He had a rough night.

And hey, this is officially my first SPN fic! :) Hmm, not sure what that says about me, that of the three SPN prompts I got I went immediately for the crack... ;)

[lomer.livejournal.com]

Crack is like candy. It's shiny, and sugary, and once you get a taste of it you want more. I have a weakness for baby!Dean. I don't know what that says about me, but I appreciate you feeding my habit. *g*

And the crack genre isn't nessisarily all fluff. I read an amazingly angsty, plot-filled, and character driven story that featured magically de-aged Dean and out-of-his-element Sam (which is my favorite flavor of Sam. *g*)

If you have a night off and want to get hooked on a long story, you can read it here. (http://janissa11.livejournal.com/tag/under+a+haystack)

[cofax7]

::cackles::

Oh, that is awesome crack. Poor Daniels; it never pays to run afoul of the Winchesters.

(PS: it would be a real stretch to call Sam's hair "sandy". It's just brown.)

[katriel1987.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA. This whole thing is hilarious -- I feel really, really sorry for that poor officer -- but the part that killed me was this line:

And I am not spending another six weeks with a johnson half the size of a green bean.

*snerk* That is totally something Dean would say.

Awesome crack, dude. I'll have what you're smokin'. :)

[eve11]

Thanks! Yeah, blame lomer for the crack ;)

(PS: it would be a real stretch to call Sam's hair "sandy". It's just brown.)

Light brown, maybe? It seems light to me-- lighter than Dean's anyway, unless it's just the length. *looks at screenshots* -- yeah, you're right. Must be the length that makes it seem lighter. Anyway, will fix...

[cofax7]

Nope, just brown. In fact, some people will claim that Dean's hair is sandy or blondish because the actor used to have blond hair in some roles. Which made me confused when you had the "sandy" line in there.

[eve11]

Confusion was not what I was going for. It might be a matter of proportion: I have really dark brown hair and tend to think of colors lighter than mine as blond-ish or sandy. Um. Dark sand. Like, wet sand or something. *flails*

[dodger-winslow.livejournal.com]

This was a riot. Loved it. :D

[auntiemeesh.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's awesome! Sam sucks at playing Dad almost as much as Dean sucks at playing 4. I'd love to see Officer Daniel's write-up about this one. :)

[iamstealthyone.livejournal.com]

This was a lot of fun! Great sense of humor here, good OC POV, and I really like how you wrote this so it’s not clear exactly what’s going on or who’s involved. It made for a fun reveal. :)

Favorite lines:

"We're coming back from the airport, we had a really long day and it's way past B-E-D-T-I-M-E."

*snickers*

"Sorry pal," the kid said. "Got a date with a dead cat and a one-legged pauper's grave on the new moon. And I am not spending another six weeks with a johnson half the size of a green bean."

LOL!

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

heeheeheehee! poor daniels, being held at gunpoint by a very cranky five-year-old dean. and poor sam, having to deal with it. "Hell, if his feet reached the pedals I'd have to let him drive." *snicker* i love the very confused outsider pov, too.

[eve11]

Thanks! *passes the pipe* Glad you enjoyed it :)

[eve11]

Thanks! :)

[afteriwake.livejournal.com]

This was absolutely hysterical. I loved it.

[eve11]

*blushes* Thanks :)

[eve11]

Sam sucks at playing Dad almost as much as Dean sucks at playing 4.

He does, doesn't he? Poor Sam, and he's had to put up with Mini!Dean for weeks now, too...

Hey, do you have a word or phrase or something to narrow down your Pre-Stanford prompt? I can write something sure, but it's a big swath of time there...

[auntiemeesh.livejournal.com]

Hm, how 'bout ... role reversals.

[eve11]

okay, I can work with that ;) Thanks.

[eve11]

I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for your thoughtful feedback :) I always like to give a laugh :)

[eve11]

heh heh, that was practically the first line I wrote ;) Thanks for your feedback, I'm glad you liked it!

[eve11]

Yay, thanks! :)

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

OMG. This was fantastic. I think this is the second SPN fic I've ever read and I loved it. I'm not a big fan of kidfic, but when done right, I enjoy it. And with a show like Supernatural, I can see it happening.

Hahaha. I love you and this fic isn't even for me!

[moonshayde.livejournal.com]

I must thank you for asking for this. Because I am in stitches!

[lomer.livejournal.com]

Eve rocks! *g*