Right, I agree that co-dependent and p/a are consistent; I just didn't really see the Doctor's remarks as passive-aggressive. I don't think the remarks arise because he's angry or resentful; at least canonically we are supposed to believe he's just clueless. Eleven had a bit of that (thinking specifically of "Are you pregnant?" in Amy's choice), but I think it's supposed to be playing up the Doctor's "alien" factor. I don't think they are doing that very well, mind you.