Is Lamasteen a thing? If so I've no clue what it is. Sounds like gibberish to me... maybe there's a scrambler in use.

I keep thinking it couldn't be -- they wouldn't create canon about the last Doctor ever that would then have to be rewritten someday, would they? *also isn't reading spoilers*

I don't think it's the last Doctor ever; I think it's this Doctor, and him getting released by himself sets up a Time Loop whereby some time way in the past he gets trapped and waits in the Pandorica until he comes along and releases himself. Once he releases himself, his previous self what was trapped might do some backtracking to try and stop the cracks, hence the two Doctor theory. I'm guessing after the finale that we will pick up with the Doctor what's been in the box a few centuries.

Um, anyway, that's my theory. But now I have a time travel headache.